Butter Crisis Averted

by Zora O'Neill on September 30, 2008

A while ago, we had a Code Red in the house: We ran out of butter.

Holy crap, I’m shivering with fear again right now.

No–it’s over. It was all just a bad dream. We solved that butter problem.

Butter bonanza

Butter bonanza

We planned to do a side-by-side butter tasting, but that never really happened. Next time.

Good record-keeping is important for future generations of scholars.

Good record-keeping is important for future generations of scholars.

After we replenished the butter stores, Peter bought some matzoh. This was a source of sitcomlike hilarity at the Trade Scare, as the matzoh rolled down the little belt after all my groceries, and I said loudly, “That’s not my matzoh!” It sounded a little bit too much like my mother saying, “I didn’t steal that Bible!” at the public library when I was a kid–a story I’ll tell you some other time.

Because, honestly, I really don’t like matzoh. It’s bland, it’s boring, it’s unleavened, it makes truly horrible soup–all, apparently, on purpose, for chrissake! (I mean, not for Christ’s sake. He had nothing to do with it. Whatever.) Still–as a food, without the cultural associations, it’s just ridiculous.

Turns out, Peter really likes matzoh.

He’s the one who’d put the box of it in at the end of our grocery pile. So there was a sheepish apology after my shocked denial.

And then we came home, and Peter put some of our new butter on his new matzoh.

Peter's right hand is in occultation.

Peter's right hand is in occultation.

And it was good!

Peter says I’ve just been eating the wrong kind of matzoh all this time. I guess you can get it with salt.

And butter…plenty of butter.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Amelie September 30, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Too bad it doesn’t come prepackaged with a thick layer of salted butter — mmm — like those new bagel thingies that come pre-injected with cream cheese. (Which, incidentally, I proclaimed to be the sign of the demise of human civilization as we know it, while shoving two free samples down my gullet. The demise of human civilization as we know it is delicious!)

2 zora September 30, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Whaaa?! I haven’t heard of this product. That is apocalyptic! But I can see the dangerous appeal.

3 Amelie October 1, 2008 at 12:27 am
4 zora October 1, 2008 at 8:42 am

Yipes–they look like Twinkies!

And this line disturbs me: “The product is designed so that the cream cheese will stay cool even after long periods of heating.”

Er, how? Probably better that I don’t know.

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